So marrying Molly has made me eat healthier.  Also, my house is a lot cleaner than what I’ve normally lived in.  I sleep better.  Everything about it points to a net gain.

By marrying me, though, I think Molly might have taken a net loss.  What she gets out of the deal is pretty much a bodyguard.  If she bought a dog she’d get the same thing, and the dog probably wouldn’t eat as much as I do.  She got scammed.

Sucker.